I don't know how old I was when I prayed to let God into my life. I know where I was, and that I was young. It wasn't made into a big deal. I was already in love with God.
The God I fell in love with I learned about in my home, by way of the radio. He was huge. He gave me goosebumps. However, while dusting and sweeping, I would hear stories of divine protection and provision. Huge miracles and blessings, taken place in the modern day. One I remember in particular was a missionary family was surrounded by enemies, and they were for sure to be overtaken. Suddenly, they turned and ran away. Later the family had found out that their enemies had seen a much greater army surrounding their house. But the family knew no army was there, except something unseen to them.
The God I fell in love with was mighty, powerful, able to do anything. But what I saw were Christians that complained, worried, feared, compared themselves to others, and made me feel very small. Some of them. Others were kind. Very few lived what they said they believed. If that was the only God I ever saw, I would never have wanted to be a part of Him. The God I fell in love with and the God I saw in those around me were very different. I was confused. I stumbled my way through life, my nose in the Bible and my feet in the world, but not going the same direction. Trying to live up to the religious and worldly standards all at once, and trying to make sense of how God fit in to all of it.
I saw God at work once and a while. Mediocre prayers were answered. I was left thinking there has to be more to this. If God sent Jesus to Earth to die on a cross, there has to be something much bigger behind all of this. Fed up with my life, I was determined to live every day for a year learning as much as I could about what the Bible says, and trusting it as law. I wanted to determine: Do I believe this or not?
That was a year and a half ago. At times, I've failed. Worried. Became discouraged. And angry. But even in my failures I have learned so much about God I just can't let him go. He is whom I fell in love with and more. He uses the weak to do mighty things. He answers my prayers. My sins have been made void. Through Him, I am a conqueror in all things. All things. Even the things I haven't had the guts to do until now, or even now.
And I take a look at my own life and think, which God to people see in me?
I want others to see the big God. I want to set no limits.
Have you read 58:Fast Living yet?
Have you read Isaiah 58 lately?
In the book, the author describes what first century Christians did to take care of the poor. Unbelievable. Some of the church today continues this sacrifice, but it isn't the norm. What if it was?
What does unconditional love look like? What does it mean?
What does no limits look like?
What does reckless abandonment look like?
What does the completion of God's promises look like?
What did Jesus's sacrifice actually benefit me? How can I use it to make a difference?
Does anyone else get excited about this? Do we just dream about heaven or do we take advantage of the favor we have right here, right now.
Do we really believe what we say we believe?
God doesn't fit in the worldly world or religion. He is way bigger than those things. He uses prostitutes and kings. He values shepherds and priests, so long as they trust Him. He has a plan for me. So excuse me if my choices seem odd. My sights are not on fitting in.
All this makes me giddy.
My goal is to find out how big God really is. I might not attain it in my lifetime, but I'm going to enjoy trying.