So, a few years back, I wrote on how I planned to simply trust and obey. I've done my best, only it wasn't so simple.
It isn't so simple. For some of us, there is the knowledge that we are to do something, and this something is so incredibly exciting yet terrifying. For others, that something is waiting for it to be found. I believe there is this adventure waiting for us all.
In no way am I saying that what I have been through comes close to what others have- it is not about a comparison. That is what is so wonderful about God! He knows exactly where we need to be stretched, and he knows what we can take without being crushed. Meanwhile, he offers us really good things. These things will be missed if we are not looking for them.
I did and am doing what I believe God told me to do, I did it in a terrible world where we are dealing with really messed up people. One of those being myself. I did it, making myself a target for worry, anger, doubt, and the temptation to take a whole lot of revenge. My goal, however, was trust and live as close to Christ's example as possible.
Have you been there? Are you there now?
At the beginning of the journey, faith is romantic. It is exciting because you know how wonderful God is and how he will bring you through anything.
The seed is planted, but the weeds start to grow. They shoot up, choking out the light. They suffocate us and poke at us. They are so ugly. They are so strong and overpowering. And we think we might die. Literally, figuratively, physically, spiritually....mentally. Any one of these. We might just be goners, and our romantic story seems to suddenly stop with no good conclusion.
We think our faith has failed.
Others might see it as well.
God knows better.
My story is not over. I don't know my conclusion yet, and honestly, I hope it won't be for a while. This is my personal belief and experience.
What are we worried about? What do we think will be the end of us? Let me just put this thought in your mind.... What if there was a twist to the ending? What if at the very last second, we are saved? And what if everything that we'd suffered came together for good? What if it turned out to be the best story ever told? I think it may be. And that is the thought that will keep me going.