Messy Goodness

“Safe?” said Mr. Beaver; “don’t you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe


"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of Lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:17

God is good. He gives us good things. The good things are from God. These things, however, are not safe. They are not the easy route, and common sense may question them.

Not everything is good, but the good things are from God. And God makes good things come out of the things that are not good.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." - Romans 8:28


These truths I know. But to be quite honest, I just don't understand God. If God is good, things should be good. And by that, my understanding would convince me that good means easy. But it doesn't. It should mean safe. But that's not it.

It should mean that anyone that calls themselves a follower of God is good, but they are not. But God delights in them and passionately cheers them on, tirelessly encouraging the failures.

It should mean that this is a beautiful world- and it is. Yet it is the most horrible of worlds.

There is no neat and perfect box to put my faith in. This is messy. Still, God is my refuge and Jesus is my Savior.

"But Sam lay back, and stared with open mouth, and for a moment, between bewilderment and great joy, he could not answer. At last he gasped: “Gandalf! I thought you were dead! But then I thought I was dead myself. Is everything sad going to come untrue? What’s happened to the world?” - J.R.R. Tolkien, Return of the King

May I humbly suggest this thought to anyone who can relate to the mess I'm in? Find something good and thank God for it. Not something safe. Not something that makes sense. Something good.

When your messy, quarreling children cut off your lilacs and give you a bouquet, be thankful.

At the end of a long, confusing day, watch the sunset, hear the birds, smell the lilacs, and be thankful. These things are from God. They are good. There is good. We need to see it.

"And Little Child understood that the more he told the stories about the King and the King's people, the less fear he felt and the less fear was in the dark room. Amanda was right: SIGHTERS ARE NOT AFRAID." -David and Karen Burton Mains, Tales of the Restoration

Joy Killers: Mom Wars

I was having a wonderful day at the park a few weeks ago. It was warm and swarming with children. Mine wanted to climb the rock wall. All four of them climb up and jumped off the 5 ft. ledge- except for Max, whom we carried off after each accomplished climb.

Some parents with young children told them they were too young to try. It took all I had to not roll my eyes. Why wouldn't you let them? As I sat in judgment, a three or four year old girl ran past. She must have been 50+ pounds. She couldn't even lift her little legs high enough to climb without help from her mom I started thinking of all kinds of health problems this child will have due to her condition.

Then God whispered, "You don't know what that mom has been through. Pray and don't judge."

As someone who is infuriated with parents that complain about the inconvenience of children,  I find myself being far too judgmental. I see them missing out on all they joy kids bring and leaving a less then favorable legacy. However, I don't know the whole story. After all, parenting is hard for me and I have a participating husband and an occasional grandparent to help. I have my pet peeves, but then again, I have been judged as well.

I'm not careful enough.
I shelter my kids too much.
I'm denying them of a social life.
They are not in enough activities.

In fact, the more I judge, the more I feel judged. Matthew 7:1 anyone?

It doesn't matter which side I'm on, it just doesn't feel good.

To stay at home or to work.
Private, Public, or home education.
Natural food vs. at least they are fed.
To vaccinate or not to vaccinate.

Really, the fact was that day, that there were parents who cared enough to take their kids to the park. That is something to be thankful for.

Is it possible to train our minds to encourage before judging? To see that our situations are unique and each family must make the right decision for them? To know that we are not God?

From where I stand, I seems to me that the number one reason for discouragement and depression as a parent is the inability to meet other people's expectations. This is time and effort wasted in the areas not meant for us. It is a joy killer. In fact, it is bondage. It is an inability to flourish in our unique gifts as a family. We set made-up and unrealistic expectations that will always leave us as failures.

But God's expectations are full of freedom and joy. They fit right into our very makeup. They were written for us by our creator. Oh, to live each day delighting in Him, letting Him direct us.

 

Delight yourself also in the Lord,

And He will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord,

Trust also in Him,

And He shall bring it to pass.

Psalm 37:4-6

Moms, we will enjoy or job much more and do a better job at it if we stop letting others blindly influence our family decision and refrain from having all the answers for someone else. Godly council is good, but it is void of judgment and pride.

Let's encourage each other instead.

Mercy.

I love how, as students of the Bible, we can read over and over something our whole life and one day we suddenly get it.

His mercies are new every morning.

Mercy= already paid for.

Each morning presents a whole new pile of unwrapped packages, filled with grace (undeserved favor), dreams, opportunities, and forgiveness. Today didn't go so well for you? That's okay, tomorrow presents new mercies. Already paid for.

Lamentations 3:22-23

New King James Version (NKJV)

²² Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed,
Because His compassions fail not.
²³ They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.

 

If we woke up each morning knowing this, how would it change our day? How would we treat others different? How would it affect the mood of our household?

 

It reminds me of spring; a new start, a fresh perspective.

 

 

Super Momma

Our family is quietly in crisis mode. Thank God He is Almighty cause we'd be up a creek if He wasn't.

James says to "count it all joy"...."endurance produces perfection"....

I say, "enough already".

Which is probably why I need the testing of my faith.

So, I've been thinking a bunch about God's will. What is it? Why doesn't it just fall into our laps?

God answered with this little love note:

Romans 8:28-39.

I'd like to share some thoughts with you.

28 And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

I just want to clear this up- If you are a Mom, that is currently your purpose. At least one of them. Even if those kiddos weren't planned. They are yours, you are theirs, and God has promised to cause everything to work together for good for those that love Him and are called according to that purpose.

29 For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn, with many brothers and sisters. 30 And having chosen them, he called them to come to him. And he gave them right standing with himself, and he promised them his glory. 31 What can we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? 32 Since God did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won't God, who gave us Christ, also give us everything else? 

Can I just say here that there are those that try to come against us moms: Critics. Those that compare. Gossipers. Standard setters. Perfectionists. Our own thoughts. These are some of our worst enemies. But knowing God's love overcomes them all.            

33 Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? Will God? No! He is the one who has given us right standing with himself. 34 Who then will condemn us? Will Christ Jesus? No, for he is the one who died for us and was raised to life for us and is sitting at the place of highest honor next to God, pleading for us.    

I was doing exercises and saying scripture this morning as I looked up at my ceiling fan, which happened to be covered in dust. Again. I'm sure it's been a while since I've cleaned it, but it's such a big deal to do that I feel like it is too often! It bummed me out for a second. I started to replace my scripture with self criticism.

Oh, you'd better believe that was not a thought from Jesus, my savior! He died for me, for goodness sakes! Why would He die to justify me and then condemn me for some dust on a ceiling fan? Instead, He reminded me not to let some dust get in the way of all the goodness He planned for today. My savior's love covers dust, dirty dishes, stains on the carpet, parenting failures, late payments, and messy hair.


         35 Can anything ever separate us from Christ's love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or are hungry or cold or in danger or threatened with death? 36 (Even the Scriptures say, "For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep." ) 37 No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. 38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Death can't, and life can't. The angels can't, and the demons can't. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, and even the powers of hell can't keep God's love away. 39 Whether we are high above the sky or in the deepest ocean, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.   


You know what? I think God created us to be super moms. Even better than, in fact. Our worldly idea of a super mom is instant defeat, but trusting in His glory, justification, and love will result in successful completion of the task we are purposed for, without the burnout. Think about it. If we are working though the knowledge of His favor and unquenchable love, our love will not be drained, but rather replenished, which results in an even greater realization of His love for us.

Purpose that has results, undeserved favor, and unquenchable, unconditional love. Isn't that what women desire?

Go rock your day, super mom.

Homemaking Psych 101

My work made me go to this class to help us understand how to handle relationships better.

If you work in a psychiatric facility, you tend to self diagnose- and many times even get solicited or unsolicited diagnosis from co-workers. This class had me self analyzing the entire time.

This is one thing I learned. If there is something wrong- stress, worry, fear, anger- your frontal lobe does not work properly. Now, they were talking about kids and school, but I was self diagnosing. I am not a psychiatrist or any kind of doctor, so this is all just a mom that thinks too much. NOT PROFESSIONAL. And I threw away my notes. But, maybe I have a point.

According to eHow, the frontal lobe controls planning, organizing, speech and language production, movement, emotions, and problem solving.

Moms (homemakers) tend to worry about a million things. This job employs a person that tends toward taking on stress and fear, which often leads to anger. Do you see where I am going?

So, I tested out my theory. (with a little conviction for encouragement)

Instead of waking and thinking about all of the problems and to-do lists, before any of that is allowed to enter my mind, before my feet hit the floor, I did this.

1) Magnified God in my thoughts.
2) Handed the day over to Him.
3) Recognized that He has a perfect plan for my day, and I just have to be close to Him so I can hear what it is. Resolved to obey it.
4) Be blessed with contentment.
5) Be filled with the Holy Spirit and it's fruit. (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, goodness, and self control.)

Results:

My house is not any cleaner, but I do clean more. Maybe over time it will be, we shall see.
Even so, I'm just at peace.
I have less brain fog.
I know what I should be doing, and if I don't I know exactly how to find out.
I'm accomplishing things I couldn't have before.
Things just work out for good.

I like my theory.

My Very Own

"Mom, I wanna read the Yo-Yo book." (book about the letter Y)

"Ok, go get it."

(Brings back 2 books)

"No, I want TWO books."

"Ok."

(We read two books)

"Alright, we are done."

"No, no. I want....(holds up fingers: one, two, three, four) I want FOUR books. That's one more."

"No, that's two more."

(BIG smile..)

"TWO more?"

(Runs over to get his two books)

We have our very own blessings that God gives us. They are unique and intentional, but often missed because we are too busy coveting a blessing meant for someone else.

My very own gift wrapped blessing from God (besides the blessing of my family) is the fact that I have been able to spend so much time with my children. Laughing with them, reading with them, teaching them, and just seeing them as people. People that will soon discover what their very own blessing is. No amount of money could ever replace the joy this fact has given me.

I thank God for my family and the gift of being a (mostly) stay at home mom, that my husband shares my desire for this, and that I have a loving, personal God that planned this just for me.

What is the blessing that God intended for you?

Easy Snow Experiment

Here is an experiment just to get the kids thinking...

1) Get a measuring cup and fill it up with snow. We used a 4 cup liquid measure.

2) Bring it inside to let it melt. While it is melting, discuss (or hypothesize) where the water level will be when it is completely melted. If you like, you can time how long it takes for the snow to melt completely.

3) Observe the measure of water when melted. Where you correct? Why is the volume of snow more than water?

4) Our last snow melted from 4 cups snow to approximately one cup water. What is a fraction that would represent the snow to water ratio? If we had one foot of snow, how many inches of rain does that equal?

5) Each snow may produce different results since not all snow is created equal, so this could be repeated with several different snowfalls, and a chart could be made.

I always like to just get them thinking and start asking questions. Usually they end up teaching themselves.