Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Trial Addict

The most amazing thing has happened to me... my fingernails are growing. My entire 37 years of life have included flimsy, brittle nails. A large part of those years they were bitten by a nervous child, skeptical about nearly everything. The world never made sense to this introverted juvenile living in an extroverted world.

Geez, I wish I knew that I had it so good.

Suddenly, I noticed that there was a need for me to file my nails down. They're practically indestructible. So the obvious question is, "what's made the difference?"

I really don't know, but they started growing about the same time I decided to stop being a trial addict.

I don't enjoy drama- well, not in real life anyways, but I'm always dealing with things. Trials. Hard times. Victimization. Burdens. Then, one day I realized I didn't have to. It was quick and sudden, like stepping into a threshold of a new world. As I turned and looked back, however, I realized it was a long, troublesome journey there.

God gets you where He wants you, changing you step by step. Revealing one thing here, and one thing there. Oh, where will this journey take me? Only one thing I know: it will turn out good.

You see, that troublesome journey I've taken wasn't that bad, but I was the trouble maker. In my mind, I thought it needed to be tough. I needed to be stronger, I needed to learn more, perfect my faith, or take the role of the martyr.

But that is not it at all. What a tragic life, to be given the most beautiful gifts, and then smearing them ugly with our own negative scum.

The things- painful things around me are still there, but they are not a trial if I don't make it to be. My husband tells me of his childlike perspective as refugees and re-education camps in then newly communist Laos, and for the most part, the stories are light hearted. He was a child, and he trusted that he would be taken care of. The brunt of the pain was not for him.

It is not for us either. We can live above the trials and in the fullness of His glory, no matter what the circumstances are. That is a truth that is too good to keep to myself.

Isaiah 28:12
He who said to them, "Here is rest, give rest to the weary," And, "Here is repose," but they would not listen.
Matthew 11:28-29
Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest."Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS.…