Spaghetti

No. This is not a recipe.

It's way too late and I should be sleeping but even if I'm not sleeping I should be doing something else.

I've been away too long. I started school last week but in my mother's house and that is never the same as here so I should have a good idea of what I'm going to eat and how this will all go down tomorrow and how I'm going to fit in a few stops for shopping.

And I don't want to think about money but if I'm shopping I have to and then I start re-writing the entire budget in my mind because it does need to be done at some point but if I started now I'd be up till 3.

My husband tentatively is working 16 hour days for the next three weeks and getting four or five hours of sleep a night so I feel super guilty for being strung out with my eight- maybe seven relaxing hours of sleep and wishing he was here to help. Yet so very thankful he has work and can work.

My heart aches at the injustices in the world and stories of hate and even worse "Christians" showing hate and the little children and babies unwanted and oh how I want one and what am I thinking? Yet excitement for how God works and wants awesome things done.

The day has arrived. I found four grey hairs. It's been a year since I've done anything significant to my hair and every month I think I've gotta get this done and it's certainly not getting anything done before February since I will be with my kids 24/7 as usual yet more since Sook is not available.

And I really should do something about exercise.

And we are adding French and more field trips and hands on crafts and Brooke is finally ready to start her curriculum and Max needs a sensory box or something and he also insists on doing his math every day since everyone else does.

And my Christmas tree is still up.

Spaghetti. Savannah and I both have to do this cause her mind is just as wound up as mine. Just let go of all the worries and tension and be spaghetti.

One night I tried this and instantly I saw myself just lying there in cup-shaped palm of a super sized hand, not worried about anything because my complete trust was in that hand. It carried me over the mountains and oceans and through the sky. I felt like I was six again. It was nice.

So good night. Time for me to become spaghetti. Right after my shower.