A few days ago, I read my dear friend's blog, Surviving The Chaos which blew me away. The blog did- and then her link to live 58 opened my eyes more. And then, Isaiah 58.
I have not read the book yet. I plan to.
You see, it has been on my heart for quite a while now that I need to reach out more. Several years ago, it was all about me. My prayers were completely selfish, and I knew it. I was miserable.
Then I had a revelation about how much God really loves me and what he really did for me- and it made sense. The religious act I was trying to attain became useless and I fell head over heels in love with God. I stopped worrying about myself and was able to care for my family with more intensity and joy. But it's easy to love your family.
So it's been on my heart to reach out. Then I sit here and look around at the half packed boxes, piles of laundry, unfinished projects, and four little faces that like to eat. What else can I do?
And then somebody posts a story of someone in need- way more need than I have.
I believe a parent's job is quite possibly the most important in the world. For if parents instill character, values, compassion, and passion in their children, it makes a better world. If not, things will eventually go downhill for everyone. Yes, I could say that I'm doing quite a bit by being a wife and mother.
But Jesus's words and example makes it clear that following him is more than just taking care of yourself. True Christianity is reaching out to those who really need it and helping them- even if it hurts a little. Even if it's inconvenient.
He didn't tell us to let the rich do it.
He didn't tell us to let the government do it.
He told the church- the Christians to do it. And do it in love. (1Corinthians 13:4-7)
Back to Isaiah 58.
I admit, I have fasted for the wrong reasons before. Now I understand that fasting isn't to get God's attention and to blow up my problems. It is to take my eyes off of my surroundings, my body, my cares and focus on connecting with God. It is a relationship with the Light unto my path.
So I wanted to fast. Something significant to my situation. I thought about it and thought.
And I want to share on here not to boast or to present myself as a religious saint nor to take this lightly, but because I want to record my journey and possibly add some perspective if anyone else might share my thoughts on this.
For reasons I will share some other time, long term food fasts are not an option.
I do not watch TV, and have almost completely lost the desire to.
I don't spend money on myself. It's usually just necessities.
I don't have candy sitting around.
I don't have much free time, and when I do, I'm praying or taking a much needed nap. Or blogging.
This is just my season. Someday I will indulge, but today it is pointless to fast something that isn't significant.
So this is what God told me.
Fast logistics. Go where I tell you to go, do what I tell you to do, but don't sit around and stew over how it will turn out or where you will get the resources. Just do it. Then you will have much more time to spend on others. You already know I will take care of it.
And I sat, searching for a thought. For God had told me to fast the one thing that has consumed me. So I said, "What do I do now?"
And he said, "The dishes need to be washed."
So that's what I did.