Plunge

I've heard this all before but as always it doesn't sink in until it happens to me.

Everyone told me parenting would be hard, yet I had no idea.

Likewise, when I told God "I'm done. I've tried and failed miserably. You can have it all.", I had no idea where this would lead. It is turning out to be what I least expected.

Exposing how selfish I really am.

Exposing how easily influenced I am by outside influences.

Revealing who He really is.

Peeling away my resistance.

And leading me to the exact place I never wanted to be.

Following God truly is all or nothing. But since He is almighty, my provider, and loves me infinitely more than I can understand, I now can look my fears straight on and embrace the adventure I'm about to embark in.

I'm at the top of the roller coaster about ready to plunge.