What I Wish I Would Ignore

In my thoughts the other day, I asked God why it was so hard for moms, particularly (but not limited to) stay at home moms, to understand their own value. We say it, some of us, but to really believe that doing dishes and laundry and making sure everyone brushed their teeth day after day is a noble task is nearly impossible.

The answer was clear as a bell to my soul, but less likely as eloquent coming from my fingertips. It was more of a picture than a sentence. But at my attempt to interpret, I think it is because we are looking for the wrong results.

We seek approval or evidence of accomplishment. A paycheck is nearly instant gratification, even an annual eval is something to work toward. But here I sit after a day much longer than 8.5 hours with no physical evidence of accomplishment and completely exhausted.

But God reminded me that He did not create us for deadlines and paychecks. He didn't make our children to become star athletes or make the honor roll. Even though these things are not bad, that is not how He measures our worth.

"Worthy are You, our Lord and our God, to receive glory and honor and power; for You created all things, and because of Your will they existed, and were created."- Revelations 4:11

Our lives are for a fairly simple purpose. To just be the creation that we were meant to be. Can we take pleasure in simply being? Working out of necessity, yes. But in the midst of simply being? Can we let God take pleasure in that? I think it sounds delightful.

Incidentally, immediately after God answered the question that I was certain would take weeks to answer, our art class solidified my celestial conversation. The lesson began by comparing Hans Christian Anderson's The Emperor's New Clothes to modern art. Rather than thinking for themselves, people have depended on the popular vote to dictate what is good.  The author continues:

"Art was intended to be sublime, to make us feel better about ourselves and to be uplifting, elevating man to a higher level. Art was intended to touch our hearts; to inspire us to think on those things which are good an pure. It seems as if with today's art, our hearts are set aside. Instead, the mind, or the intellect is what art strives to captivate."- Berry Stebbing, God and the History of Art

In light of viewing ourselves as the creation and God as the artist, our critics, including ourselves, are taking the focus off the original intent of who we were made to be. My friends, there is glory in the seemingly dull repetition of our days.

Our lives are a story- the best kind, where the climax proves to be uncertain to the mind, but to the heart, relentless hope that the ending will be sweeter than imagined. An annual evaluation only would ruin the ending, and assigning an hourly wage would cheapen the experience, no matter the price.

And God takes pleasure in it, if we will let Him.

I want to ignore the opinions of others screaming the foolishness of this. I want to erase the magazine-inspired standards of homemaking, the process of success, the intellectual analysis of every stinking thing. Why do we need full articles written about a celebrity's choice of shoes? It is ruining this canvas.

I want to escape the need get a pat on the back or double digit "likes" on a post. God doesn't care about these things. Instead, HE is worthy of glory and honor produced in our lives by simply basking in the act of being.

In typical God fashion, this principle is inescapable if any value is put on His written word. I am reminded of one of my favorite verses:

²⁸ “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹ Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? - Matthew 6:28-30

Let us have faith that in being who God created us to be, and living the story He has written for us, we will be bringing glory to God, and living an incredibly beautiful life.

Dishes

What is one thing that always needs to be done?

Dishes. And laundry, but I'm tackling one thing at a time.

Every appliance in my house is old, including my dishwasher. One day I was fretting over the fact it will finally fail soon- and then it hit me. Dishwashers are really a luxury. A want, not a need.

Slowly, I began to accept the idea of hand washing my dishes instead of using the dishwasher. I have to wash them ahead of time, anyway, and if I don't, the whole load ends up dirtier than before the machine washed them.

Then I started to get excited about it. Before we had a dishwasher growing up, I gained memories of drying dishes next to my mom- I remember kind of liking it :)

 

 

 



Currently, our mission is to wash dishes after each meal. I have reduced their chores to three a day after meals in order to focus on developing this habit. One girl sweeps the kitchen, one cleans off the table (everyone is responsible for taking their own plate to the sink), and one helps me do the dishes. Max vacuums under the table.

The very first thing we do is rinse and scrape as clean as possible, stacking dishes according to wash order.

If something- especially pots and pans- are extra greasy, I sprinkle some baking soda on it to soak up the grease. ( I put it in a small mason jar with a few holes poked in the lid).

We use this homemade soap.

The first sink is for washing. I like to soak them a few minutes before washing if needed. The water is as hot as tolerated, with a few squirts of soap.

Glasses first, silverware second, then dishes and baking pans.

Second sink is for rinse. I pour a little vinegar in the hot water because it helps with reducing water marks and greasy dishes. I love my soap, but it is not sudsy like the store brand and does not always get rid of grease. Vinegar does help. Lemon juice works as well.

Place on racks to dry. If possible, it is most sanitary to air dry. It's also less work :) Otherwise, towel dry. Make sure they are completely dry before putting dishes away in order to prevent bacteria growth.

It is best when we put some music on and work together, and then it is done- no waiting for the dishwasher to finish. I'm loving the elimination of the dishwasher!

Joy Breaks

I woke up pondering... to go to work or not to go... the forecast said it should have been drizzling freezing rain, but it was not. Work is 35 minutes away, and one windshield wiper needed to be replaced. I did not want to turn around once I got there... I played it safe. The snow did not start until 4:30.

I need to work. Suddenly, our income has dropped to next to nothing. Then a snowstorm hits. Missed opportunities.

Meanwhile, plans are in the works. Big plans. Big changes. They are almost so real it's hard to believe it has not happened yet.

Roller coasters of emotions have consumed me the last two weeks. Not the kiddie roller coasters.. the ginormous ones that drop hundreds of feet and loop-de-loop upside down.

And life goes on. Sore throats and late meals. Fights. Laundry.

Today, I am numb. I see messes of snowflake cut outs and snow ice cream spills, no clean pj's and unfinished projects.

Yet life does go on. Children need to play and smile and laugh and move around. And so do I.

I don't really know how it happens, but gloom seems to creep up like a shadow and follow me around until a ridiculous amount of time has passed and I have accepted that I need to simply make it until bedtime.

But I don't. I can choose joy. I love the realization (that I have to re-learn daily) that I don't have to be depressed about a lack of money or a disorganized home. So what? I can, at most any time, stop and accept my joy. I can read something funny or pillow fight my girls or eat cookies. Or ice cream.

I can eat my ice cream and stare at my gloom with a smile on my face.

"You prepares a table before me in the presence of my enemies..."-Psalm 123:5

You know, that ice cream tastes even better when it is a victory celebration. Pillow fights are sweeter. Jokes are better. Don't forget to take joy breaks.

It's February

My computer stopped working a few weeks ago, for real. Usually I can finagle something to make it work just a little longer- but no more. So I am typing this with my brand new (almost) cheapest-laptop-in-Costco computer. My computer fast was a nice break.

And now it's February. The dreaded month of February. Thankfully, we have kept busy. There are a few amazing (to me) things I'd like to share about my homemaking project.

The way I do things is to start from the very basic root of the problem and work my further up until I get to the tips of the branches- a quality that usually takes a simple project and makes it into an outline worthy of a Nobel Peace Prize hopeful. Typically this means my project does not get finished. But it is what it is. I am sitting next to a 1,000 piece puzzle of a Renoir painting that I have been working on for who knows how long, a mess of homeschool books, a pile of laundry that has not been put away for a week, and a hodge-podge of various craft supplies, pencils, stuffed animals, and a Chinese Checkers game. But I do feel as though I have accomplished something. The evidence will not show for some time.

I  have had so many ideas jumbled up in my mind and I needed direction. So I prayed for a vision, but from stubborn experience I knew this vision would not be my own, which is incredibly hard for me. I had to be from my husband, and it cannot be that I sit him down and demand a vision. Oh, talk about a faith project. Less than a week later it came unexpectedly. Clear as a bell. All of the pieces of that vision are not in place, but there is direction. A vision, down at the tip of the root, that may affect all decisions hereafter.

I am so proud of my husband for his adventurous dreams.




I have know for a while that things would go better if I revised our budget, which I abandoned a while back when things changed in our financial situation. I avoided it because dealing with money makes me cranky. Fortunately, it actually has given me more peace. It looks attainable, and I feel as sort of administrative sense of ease. If you are interested in learning more about a zero-balanced budget, this is a good read.

I am also resting in the fact that I don't do everything right financially, and that's okay. I have a vision now. I'm trusting that it will all come together.

Finally, I have to rid the clutter. Our current project is to clean out closets. I gave myself and each of the children the task of picking out seven nice outfits, seven everyday outfits, a handful of T-shirts and up to three dresses. I wanted them to put thought into what each outfit would consist of, and if they needed to purchase anything to complete them. The number has no particular meaning except there are seven days in a week, and I wanted everyone to feel as though they had a comfortable amount, yet a limit.

Most of our clothes are given to us or from Goodwill (4 kids...), but what happens is that we don't keep a good inventory and we think we need something that we don't and it's cheap enough we just get it. I am drowning in clothes, most of which we don't need. Not my own, mind you. I never know what to wear. I also want to fix that problem- less time worrying about what we wear since it is available. Outfits are complete- ones that we all feel confident in.

I have been pleased that the kids have taken this project seriously and it gave them a sense of responsibility. They recognized some things they needed and even used some Christmas money to buy socks and tights. It's fun to see them emerge from their rooms fully dressed and beaming with accomplishment. I suppose time will tell if it lasts :)

In the middle of work and outings and animal reports, progress is made. Thank you, Jesus.

Seek Ye First Part 2

Do everything as if unto the Lord. (Col 3:23) Make all you can, Save all you can, so you can Give all you can- John Wesley Measure all council against God’s word. Trust in God and have peace that he is taking you to the right place (Proverbs 3:23) Pay bills on time (Prov. 3:27) Pray for your enemies, and don’t waste time on stewing over their wrongdoings. (Prov.25:21) Help people without being a false savior (Prov. 6:1-5) Use words to edify all people, not destroy (Prov. 11:2) Be thankful for the circumstances that keep you humble. Cover my family with words of blessing (Prov. 10:22, 18:21) Love covers all sin(Prov 10:22) Children are more important than things, so when children break things, show them they are what is of value Don’t say anything unless you fully mean it and are prepared to make good on your word (Prov 12:19,22; James 5:12) Show you believe God's promises by speaking them. Operate in victory, not drama (prov 12:25) The longer you wait for a good thing, the sweeter it is (Prov 13:12) Embrace godly correction (Prov. 13:18) Bless your mess. If we are too clean, nothing is being accomplished (Prov 14:4) If you lack anything, rejoice that you have the opportunity to receive something (Matt 5:3-10) Rushing anything accomplishes a less than favorable result. The fear of the Lord is free, and it’s benefits are priceless (Prov 15:16) It is more important to give mercy than to be right. (Prov. 23:9) Pray about everything. (Prov 19:21) Integrity is an excellent inherintance. (Prov. 20:7) It is not our job to get even.(Prov 20:22) A peaceful house starts with a wife that serves and blesses. (Prov. 21:9) A secure house is ensured with a husband that loves wisdom (Prov. 21:16) The most important lessons for children include godly wisdom. (Prov 21:16) Joy from riches is a lie, so balance your time and be content with what you have.(Prov. 23:5) Be disciplined to fall in love with God. (Prov. 23:17)*Don’t encourage invasive media by involving your knowledge of it. some things are better to be ignorant of. (prov 26:17) Discern when to simply be honest and not to pretend to agree just to avoid conflict. (Prov. 27:6; 28:24)Create an environment of provision (prov. 27:7)Treat everything you have with care. (Prov.27:23,24) Routine will eventually produce blessings. (Prov. 28:20) Confess immediately, and receive mercy (Prov 20:13) Joy is the net that catches souls- Mother Theresa Receive faith and peace so that we can love extravagantly (Gal 5:6) Laughter melts away fear Even in a wicked world, good deeds make a difference. (Prov. 29:16) Sometimes our eyes lie. Trust God over what we see. ( Hebrews 11:7) A house will run more smoothly when we know about God. (Prov 29:18) We should not act in fear of man. (Prov 29:25)Act with a sound mind, full of power and love.(2 Timothy 1:7) The only one trustworthy of our future is God. Our work alone is never good enough. A homemaker never has enough energy, time, money, knowledge, or grace in her own power. However, she must continue to work toward the goal- working hard, managing well, shopping smart, and caring for all while humbly acknowledging the fear of the Lord. (Prov. 31) Everyday should include gratitude, the filling of the Holy Spirit, a release of worries through prayer, and worship in words and deeds. Jesus paid for our transgressions, so we don’t need to punish ourselves. Live in grace. (Hebrews 4) Live life as a victorious adventure. (1 Cor. 2:9) We are here to serve, not to be served. (Luke 9:23) Don’t be easily offended. (Matt 11:16) Giving grace pours beauty on your offender (1 Peter 3:8) People are people- no matter the age or comprehension level. Practice the gifts and interests that God has given you with hope. They are yours for a purpose. Everything fades when we look to Jesus.(prov 3:27) Concentrate on your own responsibilities, not on exposing another’s lack of responsibility. Don’t tattle. (Mica 3:8, James 2:13) When you know God tells you to do something, it may be hard. However, it is easier to do it than to ignore it. (Prov. 3:27) Nothing is impossible.(Mark 10:27)The gift of nature is avaliable everywhere: The trees, the sky, the animals. All it costs is time to appreciate it. There is beauty to be found in every person. Paradise is found by losing yourself. Lose yourself by praising God. Trust God like a child. (Ephesians 5:1) The door to rest is always open. (Hebrews 4) If you offer to do something, don’t turn around and complain about it. (1 Peter 4:9) When life is hard, rejoice that it will get better. (Psalm 30:5) Love relentlessly believes in others. (1 Corinthians 13) If you give, you will not want. My kingdom is far greater than my selfish desires. (John 18:36) There is no such thing as a bad day. (Psalm 139) Fear is a lie and should be fought, not an option to be considered.(John 8:44)Tell your mountain to move. (Luke 17:6) Every face reflects the likeness of God (Matthew 25:37) Pay your taxes without complaining. (Luke 20:25) Love God, love people. This should be the focus of everything. (Mark 12:30-31) Never deny a child a hug. Believe God is who He says He is. (Psalm 77:14) To see God’s power, shrink your “gods”. (Mark 10:21, 9:42-49)We are blessed with spiritual blessings right now.(Ephesians 1:3) Be content right here and now while expecting gain. (1 Timothy 6) Don’t curse each other. (James 3:10) Let the little things excite you. (Zechariah 4:10) Judge yourself by what you know is right; judge others by the law of mercy.Mom and Dad are different, but as good as one. (Mark 10:7-8) God threw your sins to the bottom of the sea (Micah 7:19, Isaiah 43:25) Children should know their heritage. Start sowing today what you can reap tomorrow. (Gal 6:17)God loves beauty. God is beauty. You were made wonderfully, so don’t complain about your body. (Psalm 139:14) Take care of your body, the temple of the Holy Spirit. (1 Cor. 6:19) You can do whatever God tells you to do, with his help. (Ephesians 2:10) Jesus loves children.(Mark 10:14) Defend the powerless. (James 1:27) Strengthen faith with works. Live by faith and please God. (James 2:25-26) Alter your life so that every aspect defends the poor and needy. Then you will know God. (Jer 22:16) Know all people of history, but only immitate the good. (3rd John 11) Be generous (Act 4: 33-35) Celebrate. Weekly, monthly, yearly, successes, milestones, life. Remember what God has done. (John 14:26)Our enemies have no right to ruin our lives. (Romans 8:28) Care about the livelihood of others. (Lev. 25:23) God joys in stretching our influence, blessing our efforts, and causing people to find favor in his children. Live to exalt God, not ourselves. No matter what, there is a reason to rejoice in the Lord. Living in hope is an exciting life. (1 John 3:22) Want is not necessary when I have hope in Jesus. (Psalm 23:1) My greatest desire is to comprehend how big God is and how small my mountains are. (Eph. 1:18) All things work together for good. (Romans 8:28) Ask God to show us his beauty. (Eph. 1:3) Teach children to honor God in their play, then they will honor God in all things. (Matt 25:14-29) Correct children when they are young. It is easier that way. (Col 3:20) Never stop learning. You’ll never know it all. Teach children to respect by respecting them. (Mark 10:14) Teach children to respect by expecting obedience. (Col. 3:20) Share (Hebrews 13:16) Care (Phil 2:4) Heap grace on children. (2 Thessalonians 5: 15) Family is very precious, and worth fighting for. Making a difference for Christ means loving the unlovable. (Matt 5:46) Make the supernatural normal. God likes order with spontaneity mixed in. Ask God because his ways are better. (Isaiah 55:8-9) Don’t glory in your misery. Only in God’s victory. (Isaiah 58) God wants to use you in his victories. (Isaiah 58) Live to win the race. (2 Timothy 4:7)

Seek Ye First

As I compile the list of things to do and habits to change, another list quickly fills up the lines of the notebook page: needs and wants. It can be overwhelming, depressing, and is one reason why I have procrastinated thus far. I don't want to be obsessed with what I don't have, so I ignore it.

Now I must stand before my oven and do something about the fact that it will no longer broil, and face the fact that my 20+ year old washing machine only gives me hot water during the wash cycle, and takes an hour to fill the rinse. I'm (mostly) a stay at home mom, I have a budget that does not include a new turquoise vintage-style refrigerator (that I would love).

 

Therefore, do not worry, saying, "What shall we eat?" or "What shall we wear?" (or "How will I cook and clean the clothes?") For after these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all of these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.

 

Matthew 6:31-33

 

 

In the big picture, it seems so vain to accumulate the perfect appliances that will eventually break in order to make my life easier, but we do need them. I could stop giving so we could save more, or I could work more and spend less time with my children. But I'm trusting God, and his economy does not work that way. Today, I think it is a good project to make my needs and wants list, and then make a list of what seeking God's kingdom looks like in this home. Possibly in giving, valuing family, and loving people. The latter will then be used as a guideline for plans, and the former will be handed over for God to supply.

 



Deep Breaths, No Excuses

In preparation for my challenge to make this house as pleasant as possible, a refuge to those that enter, and a place where my family's needs are met, God has shown me a handful of things today.

1) His promises are in place, and there is no law against the fruit of the spirit. In that is where His will is fulfilled. Anything else needs to be nipped in the bud and done away with. When fears creep in, that is actually a wedge between myself and God, blocking my view of His perfect peace. Pride erases my need for Him, until I fall and can't get up. So on, so forth. But in Him, dreams flourish and joy runs over. Even in scary times, because my hope is in God alone. Otherwise, why would I even pretend to be a person of faith? If this is truth, it is. Selah.

2) My past failures will not define my future. I am a new creature, God's mercies are new every morning. Therefore, clutter can be defeated, order will be restored. My favorite stories come from strengths that come from fears. One example of mine is a very distinct thought of my past. "I could never teach. I would not know how to explain anything because I cannot think like other people." Ironically, this is one thing I can say with confidence that I am good at. My brain is jumping around, looking for a multi-angled approach to teach one simple thing, because if I can break it down and explain it in a simplistic yet relative approach, one step at a time, there is no telling where this lesson will take us. That just makes my heart beat a little faster. I love my job, and no one could have guessed that I was to be called as a teacher.

3) There is never one way to do a thing. God can take 100 different people, with 200 different talents, and make them all a success in their own way. While some people are inspirations to me, they should not be a measuring stick to grade my performance. This is what is called art, and that is why I call it the "art of homemaking". Everyone will do it a little different, and that is a beautiful thing.

From Nate Saint: On a Wing and a Prayer by Janet and Geoff Benge-

 

As strict as his parents may have seemed, in other ways they weren't strict at all. A lot of things that bothered most mothers didn't worry Mrs. Saint one bit. Meals at the house were served at all hours of the day and night, whenever enough of the children gathered to make it worth setting the table.....nor did they care if the children didn't keep their rooms tidy or had holes in their pants, or if they were late for school.....

 

Since Mr. Saint was rather forgetful, Nate's mother took care of most of the practical matters around the house. She was organized but, to most people, in a different way.

 

Because her father, Josiah K. Proctor, was an inventor, Mrs. Saint thought it was important to let the children experiment....Despite being raised in a wealthy home, Mrs. Saint knew that having ideas and trying new things were more important than having lots of money. It was something she never forgot when she had her own children.

 

Indeed, more often than not, Mrs Saint helped the children carry out their wild schemes. When the children came to her with an idea, instead of saying no, she would say why not?

 

Behind the studio where his father did his glass work was the Saint family's private, double-track roller coaster. The huge wooden structure had curves to swoop around and drops to plunge down. Mr. Saint had built it in his spare time with the boys. A few stray nails had gone through the roof of the house and caused leaks, but no one worried too much about that. Nate's parents thought it was more important for the children to have fun and to learn something than to keep everything in perfect condition.

 



Mom called me after reading this and told me that Mrs. Saint reminded her of me. That made me smile, since Nate and Rachael Saint were a few of the people responsible for influencing the savage ways of the Aucas in Ecuador. Mrs. Saint did good.

4) It may seem like you are not moving forward, neither will you ever again move forward, but only God knows the end of a matter. Expect that it will get better every day, and even if it does not, expect it again the next. My Bible study today told the story of Jim Cymbala, who unexpectedly became the pastor of a tiny church called the Brooklyn Tabernacle. It shrunk even more (less than 20) when he took the job, and nothing he did seemed to make a difference- until the day it changed. And it did indeed change.

In a nutshell; all excuses aside.

Lesson #2 The victory is already won. In order to experience it, just don't let anything convince you otherwise.

Preparations of the Heart

I feel the need to qualify every move I make. Why is that? Anyway, I'm methodical. I've been chewing over how to be a good homemaker for the last ten years. I've tried things here and there, and mustered up all kinds of discipline that lasts a day (maybe).

So I thought it's the beginning of a new year, good place to do something. Food is the best place to start. We need to eat and being a dietitian, it's always in an open file in my mind. I was going to not eat out, and to make food from scratch all month. Good plan.

Until we celebrated at the Great Wolf Lodge on New Year's day and they would not let us bring in food. Nachos and soft pretzels for lunch. Then, Sook ordered pizza for the kids while I was at work. After a few road trips resulting in hungry kids mid-way (funny thing about Emporia's city limits), I threw up my hands. God tapped me on the shoulder and said, "I didn't ordain this."

Oops, I did  it again. That is why my plans fail. I hear one little bit of vision and start running. Just like my kids do. (It drives me crazy!)

Oh, no. I'm not even ready to jump into the work part. First, I must master the preparations. The prioritizing, scheduling, meditating, and values identification. That is a little scary. I mean, it's past noon and I am still in my pajamas because I wanted my heart ready to face the day. I've prayed and read and did a few exercises, and I'm just now thinking I might be able to handle what is ahead of me. Of course, this won't (can't) happen every day, but today it can. I was so worried what Sook would say when I came upstairs and saw the disaster as a result of my preparations. Nothing. Just a big smile and kiss while I sat, reading on the couch.


I'm listening now, God.

The preparations of the heart belong to man,

But the answer of the tongue is from the Lord.

 

All the ways of man are pure in his own eyes,

But the Lord weighs the spirits.

 

Commit your works to the Lord,

And your thoughts will be established

 

****

 

When a man's ways please the Lord,

He makes even his enemies be at peace with him.

 

Better is a little with righteousness,

Than vast revenues without justice.

 

A man's heart plans his way,

But the Lord directs his steps.

 

****

 

How much better to get wisdom than gold!

And to get understanding is better than silver.

 

****

 

Pride goes before destruction,

And a haughty spirit before a fall.

 

Better to be of a humble spirit with the lowly,

Then to divide the spoil with the proud.

 

He who heeds the word wisely will find good,

And whoever trusts in the Lord, happy is he.

 

The wise in heart will be called prudent,

And the sweetness of the lips increase learning.

 

Understanding is a wellspring of the life to him who has it.

But the correction of fools is folly.

 

The heart of the wise teaches his mouth,

And adds learning to his lips.

 

Pleasant words are like honeycomb,

Sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.

 

There is a way that seems right to a man,

But its end is the way of death.

 

From Proverbs 16

 

 

I am finding that our culture has worked in many preparations of man and called it righteousness. Oh God, show me your righteousness so my works are not done in vain.

 

Lesson #1: Follow God's leading. His thoughts are bigger and better, His vantage point broader, and His powers are endless.

Bless You!

I am convinced more and more each day of the fact that God loves beauty, and truly beautiful things bless God. God uses beauty to bless us. We bless God by expressing our gifts through beauty. Beauty and God just go together.

I am absolutely certain that chaos itself does not produce beauty. If you are unsure of this, come see my house. (I did a little experiment on the issue and went and had four kids) However, I do think we can find beauty in the chaos.

There are days that I can't provide beauty for my family. There are times that in trying to make something beautiful, I make more of a mess. (not beautiful)

I was overly tired and crampy when the meltdown began last weekend. I was being a selfish brat. I was spent and then some. And that's when I said, "I hate this house!" (opposite of beautiful)

There are a lot of reasons why I said that. Looking back, I realize the majority of the last ten years I have spent hating this house. I seldom can muster up thanksgiving for it, even when I see pictures of people in their grass huts. Some days I think I might prefer a grass hut.

But the problem is that my family and I live in this house, and I love my family. I want them to live in a blessed house, not a cursed one.

I got some sleep. I prayed a lot.

With a refreshed spirit, I stepped outside this morning and blurted out loud, "Bless this house."

I kinda shocked myself, then smiled, took a deep breath, and listed to the birds in the cool(er) morning air. I was suddenly joyful.

Doesn't attitude make a world of difference?

I was also reminded of how important it is to bless my family with my words. Words are beautiful, too.

Now, I had fantastic parents that love me very much, so please don't get me wrong. But many of my childhood memories lack spoken blessings. I was surrounded by complainers and those that compare,  and gossipers -at some point or another. I think that I am still seeing the effects of those words. I don't believe compliments easily. I have a hard time receiving other people's blessings. Words killed my hope. Thank God for His redemption.

So, even on the days that I cannot provide physical beauty for my family, on the days that I have loads of laundry to fold, nasty toilets, burnt up flowers in the yard, and I serve frozen pizza while I still have pajamas on, I can speak blessings over my family. This kind of beauty may just produce more beauty... and continue for the rest of their lives. It's like planting seeds of goodness.

And I probably shouldn't stop in my own house. People need to be encouraged.

Fill your home with beautiful words.

Mission Statement

I'm a little nervous.

I am convicted that I should write more with the purpose of teaching.

Now, I know that some have commented that I want to teach about my faith, and that is partially true. I am passionate about my faith and so it comes out frequently. However, my purpose for writing has been more of a processing technique for me. I have learned so much about what I believe because I have written it out, and at the same time I get excited about it so I want to share in case it would bless someone else.

But now I feel like I should teach more about what I think is beneficial for my family, and possibly for someone else's from experience. That was my original intent anyway. I get sidetracked easily.

I feel inadequate because I know "expert" does not describe me. Teacher, maybe. Obedient is what I hope to be.

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I am working on ideas for my Home Project, including Household Administration. I think this could be an entire degree program, but no one would ever pay to learn about it because it makes ZERO money.

Anyway, before we can do anything else, we need a family mission statement. I attended a workshop on this last April.

Since then, we have had several family and parent meetings. Now we have an end result.

I used the notes from my workshop, but if you are interested, Franklin Covey has a mission statement builder here.

This is what we did:

1. We had a family meeting brainstorming what characteristics we would like to have as a family. It was a long list because the girls listed all the My Little Pony elements they could think of (minus magic). We also had to explain what some of these words meant (Generosity, Loyalty). They listed the fruit of the spirit, and others came up in the middle.

2. We (Sook and I) looked up verses for and summarized for : family, Christian characteristics, marriage, and children. A good concordance or study Bible would help for this.

3. For the same categories, we listed our unique family gifts, passions, and priorities. Some of these included having fun together, remaining loyal to each other, valuing each other, and growing strong together so that we can bless others.

4. Taking  2 and 3 together, we made an outline for our mission statement.

5. I wrote it. It was long. Some will be short and sweet. Some will be longer. Every family is different.

6. I wrote it on canvas and hung it up on the wall, along with a few Bible verses that were appropriate.

A few things I learned about and love about this project:

• God made unique individuals and unique families. Don't think just because another family serves in one way that yours should too. It was fun to pray, dream, and discover our families purpose.
• This takes a while. It should not be rushed, but should be done in a timely manner because of the benefits.
• I loved how it brought us a little closer together.
• It provides us some direction for future decisions.
• It has already been used to teach our children character.
• It always goes back to God's word, which is our foundation. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.
• It started a precedent of discussing important issues with the family with Sook as our leader.

and finally,

• I had a good excuse to paint something.

10 Things

Some most days at home I am always doing something but feel like I have accomplished nothing.

Like today. I went to work, got home around 3, did a few dishes, changed a diaper, provided a snack, cleaned up the snack, checked fb, washed a few more dishes, turned on dishwasher, checked on the kids outside, wiped down the counter in the bathroom (finally)... all while on the phone. Somehow, after all that I feel like I had been slacking.

So I decided that whenever I needed a sense of accomplishment, I'd do 10 things.

Do you want to try? This is so fun. OK, here are the rules:

• Do 10 things. It does not matter if they are 10 big things or 10 little things or a mixture. Just make sure you count 10 things.
• If someone interrupts you, that's okay. Your 10 things will still be waiting.
• It's also okay to get the kids to help.
• (This is the most important one) When you have done 10 things, stop. Relax or do something you enjoy.
• Start over whenever you want. But if you do 10 things a day or 10 things an hour, celebrate your 10 things, and know that you have accomplished something beside wiping runny noses and kissing ouchies.

Here is my list tonight:

1. Clean mail off my kitchen island.
2. Clean counter space #1.
3. Wash out water bottles.
4. Fill/ Start dishwasher.
5. Make smoothies to freeze overnight.
6. Clean counter space #2.
7. Take out recycling.
8. Put away books that were sitting on a chair.
9. Get coffee ready/set delay timer for the morning.
10. Pay some bills.

Now I can go to bed in peace.

5-1-12

These are the things that are exciting to me these days:

I have spent an absurd amount of time on little corners of my house and yard. A quick glance at a happy space motivates me to move on and do more.

And a little space at a time turns into a bigger space....and hope abounds.

I have returned to the envelope system. Somehow we got out of the habit a few years ago, but paying with cash and using a budget gives me so much more peace about money. I take out cash at the beginning of the week, use a zero balance budget, and sometimes have money to spare. I can see it all on paper, and that almost makes me giddy.

I love my curriculum, but it is like a checklist that I think I need to cross everything off of. Now that we are at the end of the year, I have less on the checklist to complete. When I do not have one, there is little tension and more student lead learning, which is so much more fun for them. This is when I feel like I'm tricking them into learning.

At the arboretum the other day, there was a "Monet Garden". The girls asked about Monet, who happens to be my all time favorite painter. I have a Renoir painting of Monet painting in a garden hanging in my bedroom

Max thinks it's a picture of Uncle Gib.

So we looked up paintings by Monet and discussed impressionists. And everyone decided they wanted to be an artist, except Brooke who insisted she would be a babysitter. Ironically, Brooke is an artist, no doubt.... and then the converstation created three very confused girls because of all the things they wanted to be. So I showed them Leonardo Di Vinci, who was a scientist, inventor, math genius, artist, writer, and more. 

And now Savannah is a mad scientist and artist. (She's not sold on the math part yet.)

I'm pumped about our learing for the summer.

The chores that I have assigned to the girls are everyday routine chores- cleaning up after each meal, folding and putting away laundry, and a 10 minute pick up time. I also have extra chores that are different every day. On Mondays we focus on the kitchen, Tuesdays: bedrooms, Wednesdays: bathrooms, Thursdays: living room and car, Fridays: garage and basement. These chores attribute to my sanity and teach them responsibility and money management. I use Financial Peace Junior and pay them a quarter for each chore they complete to my satisfaction. They are saving up for tablets.

When I was younger and had only a little money to feed my plant addiction, I purchased perennials that would spread. And they have. So now I am able to divide my plants and purchase less. I have also had wonderful friends that generously divided their plants and shared with me! Now I think that is the mark of a good person (that and someone who offers to watch the kids while you can get away for a few hours). If you want to be a good friend, share plants. Unless your friend doesn't love plants. Anyway, I am blessed with a yard full of plants that I love because they are beautiful and because they remind me of my friends.

But I have purchased a few more because I can't help it.

I feel blessed today. I am blessed.

What You Have

As I am a student of my Father, I am learning that I have spent way to much time complaining about what I don't have. But He says to me that if I want more, I must recognize what I already have, make usefulness of it, and enjoy that. Only then will I have need of something more.

So my challenge as of now is to fully use what I already have.

• The living space I have presently
• The bottom line I see today
• The talents and gifts I possess right now... not in a perfected matter, but with the knowledge I currently have.
• The resources around me
• The people in my life...some to encourage me, some to give me opportunity to give back, some to learn from, and some to practice patience and forgiveness! All are gifts. All are blessings.
• This includes the husband I have today, not what I wish he was or wasn't
• Natural resources. Clouds lift my spirits, the songs of birds do not require batteries, the smell of flowers grace us with their gift, and every other creature and plant serving a proper purpose.

With this persective, endless possibilities seem to open up.

• I can take an inventory of what I have and ask myself if and how it can be used. This is a perfect way to use some creative thinking. It is good to think outside the box, but make sure it is really something useful. I think it always help to pray about it before..."God, what could I do with this?"
• Look at my budget. Is there any spending I can eliminate? (We just recently got rid of Netflix) Am I using these resources the best possible way? Can I give more? Can I buy and give at the same time by buying from companies that give back?
• Can I rearrange my furiniture to meet my needs better rather than buying everything new?
• Do my kids really need so many toys? I find that without toys, they still play...even if it is with sticks. Find a stick and draw a face on it! Call it Mrs. Stick and then see what they come up with next. Exercise their creative brain.
• I evaluate what I can buy used instead of new. Books are a good example. Dress up clothes.
• Make playdough, or many other artsy supplies.
• Since I have aleady paid for my recycling, I might as well use it to open up more space in my trash can. I need to ask myself, "Are there any other services avaliable to me that I am not using?" (library, community discounts, city parks, etc)
• When planning birthdays, find ways to celebrate without several gifts. We have gone on trips and made memories, bought pets, shared experiences.... whatever is proper for that individual person. Use this opportunity to take some time to just celebrate, but don't always think of things. (Savannah's gift from Grandma this week is time with her and swimming lessons. She is THRILLED!)
• I always need to be reminded what promises I have from God. This alone is all I need. Just as I'd rather have a chicken that lays golden eggs than a few golden eggs, I'd rather have the promises from God that I am blessed than a few blessings. This is the most important possession I have and ever will.

Yesterday we visited the Overland Park Arboredum, which does not cost a dime.

A Start

I'm resting a bit before I finish up the kitchen, so I'm gonna write some more.

Since I've started focusing on homemaking, my house has gotten much more cluttered.

I'm blaming it on the nice weather.

But I know that I need to focus on the positive, so there are a few things that I am already doing that I think are a benefit to this household.

1) Composting. I started a compost pile several years ago because I didn't want to fill my trash with organic things like grass clippings and leaves. This year I finally dug out the dirt. I had a blast.

I am starting to add some items from the kitchen as well...egg shells and coffee grinds and parts of veggies and fruits we cut off like the ends of cucumbers or asparagus, and I plan to shred our paper that we've been throwing away.

This is also a great lesson for the kids in how amazing our world is made and how many resources our own backyard can provide.

2) Treating dessert as a luxury. I've often heard people say that eating healthy is so expensive, which is true in some sense. However, if we evaluate what we buy, we may be able to eliminate some expensive unhealthy items to make room for the healthy ones.

Before I was married, I always wanted to end a meal with something sweet. If I didn't have dessert, I at least had a piece of hard candy to satisfy my cravings. Sook eats differently (better) than I do and being around him helped my break that habit. It does go away over time, but there needs to be a shift in mindset. Here are some possible ways to cope:

Set aside one day of the week that is dessert day. Make it fun, involve the kids, be creative. Never buy dessert pre-made. Making it yourself reduces cost and makes it less convenient or tempting. Don't keep it around the house. Your craving usually will go away over time, but if it is right there you will most likely eat it. Be disciplined to eat only one serving size. Since you won't be buying it pre-made, the label won't tell you this. Two small cookies. One 2" square brownies. 1/8 of a pie. 1/2 cup ice cream or pudding. Again, your body will need to get used to this.

3) Experimenting with making your own cleaning supplies. I hate spending money on cleaning. Therefore, I love this idea. It reduces cost and somehow gives me more satisfaction.

4) Always keep in mind that, as a homemaker, your job is to make your home a comfortable place. To ME, that is no clutter or dirt. To the kids, it is extra hugs, reading books, and listening to their stories that seem to never end. To my husband, cleanliness is important....but I think that even more important is happy wife and happy kids. Cleaning should not be stressful and people are what is important. (Mary and Martha).

Here's a start....along with making beds in the morning. I have to admit, I'm kinda liking my home project.

Summer's Room

"It's not doing the things we like to do, but liking the things we have to do that makes the difference" -Goethe

I'm starting slowly... but here is what I'm starting with.

1) Start the day by making beds. Everyone helps.
2) Don't start the day by asking God to bless me. He already has. Instead, ask, "How can I bless today?"
3) Start by using what I have.

We are re-arranging the whole house, and Summer has chosen to have her own room. This is so exciting for me because I could decorate it Summer style.

She's my daisy. Flowers is her style.

 Hanging flowers over her desk. I'm not sure why the calendar says March.

I painted this chair sloppy style last night so it would just get done. She is in love.

They worked super hard on paper flowers. We glued them on cardboard panels and used whatever paper we could find.

Summer also likes candy. This is her picture of a lollipop she did a few weeks ago.

Everyone helped me with this curtain for her bunk bed we made from an old flat sheet.

 We sewed panels, sewed on buttons, and drew pictures with sharpies. Summer did the stems and leaves.

The skinny panels were from scraps. they are used to tie the curtain back.

These are origami flowers made from scrapbook paper. I'm not done with this yet....

So now I have ONE room that I am almost in love with.

Today I'm thankful for:

1)Ellie is here!

2)Wonderful weather!

3)New visions