I woke up pondering... to go to work or not to go... the forecast said it should have been drizzling freezing rain, but it was not. Work is 35 minutes away, and one windshield wiper needed to be replaced. I did not want to turn around once I got there... I played it safe. The snow did not start until 4:30.
I need to work. Suddenly, our income has dropped to next to nothing. Then a snowstorm hits. Missed opportunities.
Meanwhile, plans are in the works. Big plans. Big changes. They are almost so real it's hard to believe it has not happened yet.
Roller coasters of emotions have consumed me the last two weeks. Not the kiddie roller coasters.. the ginormous ones that drop hundreds of feet and loop-de-loop upside down.
And life goes on. Sore throats and late meals. Fights. Laundry.
Today, I am numb. I see messes of snowflake cut outs and snow ice cream spills, no clean pj's and unfinished projects.
Yet life does go on. Children need to play and smile and laugh and move around. And so do I.
I don't really know how it happens, but gloom seems to creep up like a shadow and follow me around until a ridiculous amount of time has passed and I have accepted that I need to simply make it until bedtime.
But I don't. I can choose joy. I love the realization (that I have to re-learn daily) that I don't have to be depressed about a lack of money or a disorganized home. So what? I can, at most any time, stop and accept my joy. I can read something funny or pillow fight my girls or eat cookies. Or ice cream.
I can eat my ice cream and stare at my gloom with a smile on my face.
"You prepares a table before me in the presence of my enemies..."-Psalm 123:5
You know, that ice cream tastes even better when it is a victory celebration. Pillow fights are sweeter. Jokes are better. Don't forget to take joy breaks.