Friday, April 6, 2012

The Two Step and the Cross

Dancing was a big deal in college, and so, because that's what we did, I danced. I can't say that I was very good at it- not because I don't have rhythm, but because I can't follow. I could not just let go and move the way my partner would direct. I always felt as though I should decline for this reason, but it was also fun so the young men had to put up with me for a few minutes. It usually would only last one dance....

I remember a huge emphasis growing up toward leadership, but no one ever taught me to follow. I'm still not very good at it, but out of necessity, I accept the dance and struggle through my thoughts, "Loosen up! Let go and just dance!"

My husband may have been frustrated with this...maybe my boss...

I'm follow-challenged. And even though I am very confident that I do not have all of the answers, it is hard for me to trust that the one in charge will lead me well. I'm guessing that trust must be problem. (On my end- not that anyone has given me a reason not to trust. I simply know everyone is flawed and that scares me.)

Today is Good Friday, and I wonder what in the world I would have done if the one I had put all of my trust in allowed public humiliation, defeat, and death? What would I have done, all alone, left only with his words that are jumbled and drowned out by the screaming fear and bewilderment?  Would there be even an inkling of ,"Just let go, loosen up! Trust HIM?"

The events following that day would prove that my emotions don't tell me what is true. Today I have the story and the words written, waiting for me, available at the tips of my fingers. And honestly I need to recount these words daily to remind me where my trust is (and even then it's hard.). I don't understand what God is doing now, but I know what He has done. Jesus is not flawed. My sins are paid for and thrown to the bottom of the sea. My shortcomings are covered. My life plan has been written with purpose, along with plan B,C, and all the way to a bazillion Z's- each one filled with blessings. No condemnation. Victory is promised. Grace abounds. My cup runneth over.

With all of that known....can I two-step?

I beseech you therefore , brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present you bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of you mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.    -Romans 12:1-2

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