I am sure of the fact that I could not be truly usable (not in a superficial I have to do this kind of way) until I have collapsed, relaxed my muscles, loosened my grip, and become mold able for the exact use I was created for.
This leaves me vulnerable. It's scary. It's also scary when I have charge, so I might as well let go.
Afterward, or maybe just before, there is a time of horror visions flashing in front of me of what might happen. I wonder why I take thing for granted yet worry so much at the same time?
But my spirit it there, trying to get my attention. And once I manage to turn my mind over to the peaceful promises of God, the horror visions fade to black. It is all a lie.
It is then, panting in the refuge of these promises (promises that are actually promises), then and only then I can clearly see what I might be without them. This is where my thanksgivings turn into glorious sounds to my Father, due to the pureness of this offering. I see what I have in Him and through Him. I see how I can trust Him, and that He only wants good for me. A good that is as spotless as Jesus Himself.
Half hearted thanksgivings are a muffled clamoring, even if they are belted out in the most beautiful song. God's senses cannot be compared to ours.
But I have to let go and be helped, be vulnerable, and receive before anything beautiful can come from me.
When I am there, in the glory of His promises, I cannot go against the character of God. I have no cares for worldly things. I have no time to look around at what everyone else is doing wrong, because my eyes are fixed on Him. I cannot act for selfish greed because I am completely satisfied.
That is why some "radicals" cannot stop talking about their love, Jesus. That is why some would like everyone to hear their joy. That is why their interests and actions seem odd to those around them. It is all in or not, and the only secure place is "in".
Dear God, Your gifts are more precious than silver, than fine gold. What you have already given me is sweeter than the finest clothes and most luxurious house. Thank you for giving them to me. My prayer is that I will live and stay in these promises, and that I would understand them more and more every day.