I've been working at my job a lot lately. My work is such an incredible blessing to me, and has been for almost 12 years.
And another fantastic thing- my children have turned a page in their life where they really are helpful, and I feel really good about leaving them at home with a tired daddy.
But yesterday I came home to a crying 3 year old...crying because he spilled his bowl of chocolate chips in his room, three fighting girls, and tired and frustrated daddy. I wanted to complain about how everyone else ruined my day that had gone well up until this point- but the spirit stopped me.
I said good-bye to Daddy, who was probably happy to have somewhere to go, separated the kids, hugged them, and firmly told them not to leave their room while I tried to fix my Internet woes.
I took a lot of deep breaths and even flashed some kinda fake smiles. It wasn't long until all had settled down.
God has really been on to me about not feeling sorry for myself. Not only is it unpleasant for everyone around me, but it is death to my joy. I have been so very guilty of this. I mean, really. Being paid to analyze menus to comply with a tiny bit ridiculous school lunch regs is no big deal. I do it, I get paid, and I get a little break from the usual, I go home. Life goes on.
And comforting tired and upset kids? Hey, it's my job. And I love those kids.
Not having a working Internet for a few days? This was a tough one.
After a time of intense discipline, not feeling sorry for myself has gotten a little easier. And I have to say from experience- Moms, the worst thing you can do indulge in self pity. You can talk to God about your frustrations and then expect Him to do something about it. AND THEN- ask Him to show you something beautiful. He will. That is exactly what he's hoping you'll ask for. Look for it.
Then go bless your family, and rest in knowing that God is working something wonderful in you, just where you are.
Here is some encouragement from some of the people I admire:
Today's devotion from Oswald Chambers. Click here to read the entire devotion.
"Look at God’s incredible waste of His saints, according to the world’s judgment. God seems to plant His saints in the most useless places. And then we say, “God intends for me to be here because I am so useful to Him.” Yet Jesus never measured His life by how or where He was of the greatest use. God places His saints where they will bring the most glory to Him, and we are totally incapable of judging where that may be."
Today, I must share a few happy things.
1. The very day we started school- a year of learning focused on different countries and cultures, I got some of the most happy mail I can imagine from BOTH of our sponsored children.
I am wanting to visit Thailand something fierce- so I thought we could invest in it. Compassion sent an entire booklet just on this particular child, whose birthday is right after mine. In detail, it said where he lived and what his life is like- from what his chores are to what he eats to how he does in school. And he loves soccer. It indicated that he may be Hmong, a people group that I ache for. I love his stern face. He reminds me of Sook. I bet he has a great smile.
What a first day of school. We love you, Rebka and Si.
2. Rain. Never have a loved rain so much. Today as Max jumped in a huge puddle in the grocery store parking lot, all I could do is laugh. This picture wasn't today, but this is how much we love rain! We love the rainbows, too...
3. My husband cleans carpets for money, yet we have the nastiest carpet in town. I know I'm to blame. I have had so much self- pity over this darn carpet. But when I came home from work the other day, he had mowed whatever lawn we still have and cleaned the carpet. Now, it is still nasty. However, a little nasty looks fantastic compared to horrific nasty. I am so thankful for him and that my carpet is not as nasty as it was.
4. I love it that my girls put away all of my groceries while I fixed the computer....again. All of them- and made supper. Yay for older kids.
5. Today, Summer said, "This is so fun!" during multiplication drill time. ????? Okay, I'll take it. Bless you, Summer. The way God works in home school is so exciting. Even in my stubborn child's heart.
Self pity stinks. God's blessings abound.