Friday, February 25, 2011

A Clearer View

He doesn't want me to talk about it...but I'm gonna say it. I am married to a professional athlete.

No, not NBA or MLB or NFL.

He's a fighter. A boxer. You wouldn't recognize his name. But all in all, he's got some guts.

I didn't like it much, until now. As I nervously watched his last bout, my emotions robbed me of any strength I had to carry out daily life.

Back in the day while we were dating, it was different. I was the supportive girlfriend who liked the kinda thug-ish lifestyle we lived. We were having fun in our cozy carefree life. He could have done more. He was young then. He could have poured his life into the sport he loved. But he didn't. Instead, he married me.

He put his dreams on hold and got a lucrative but demanding job...and kept on as he listened to me complain about one pregnancy after another. He took on the burden of feeding what is now 6 mouths... that's 18 meals a day. Plus snacks.

So he re-entered the game as a professional but turned down the trips to Reno and Vegas, putting in as much time as he could while still making family a priority. He could have chose differently. He chose us... he chose me.

I haven't always been supportive of his choice because I wanted more of him. (Since I like him and all...) I guess now I see what he has sacrificed- if only to know the "what if" of what could have been. I never heard him complain. I've also seen his heart. Not to be the best, but to better himself. I can admire that. Not pre-occupied by what others are thinking if he gets a cut or if his record isn't perfect, but how can he improve. I see a different side.

Marriage is crazy hard. Can you really be married nine years and not completely know someone? YES. That tends to happen with me when I am focused on ME.

He loves me.

1 Corinthians 13:4-13

Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not want what belongs to others. It does not brag. It is not proud. It is not rude. It does not look out for its own interests. It does not easily become angry. It does not keep track of other people's wrongs.

Love is not happy with evil. But it is full of joy when the truth is spoken. It always protects, It always trusts. It always hopes. It never gives up.

Love never fails. But prophecy will pass away. Speaking in languages that have not been known before will end. And knowledge will pass away.

When I was a child, I talked like a child. I thought like a child. I had the understanding of a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.

Now we see only a dim likeness of things. It is a s if we were seeing them in a mirror. But someday we will see clearly. We will see face to face. What I know now is not complete. But someday I will know completely, just as God knows me completely.

The three most important things to have are faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

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