Thursday, July 26, 2012

The Fair That I Can't Be At

Forgive me. I'm selfishly emotional again.

My niece. I knew she was before there was evidence. The same feeling I had with my own.

I prayed for normal chromosomes, a prayer God answered despite doctor's doubts.

I cheered when her mother denied the doctor a chance to even suggest abortion.

I cried when she was in inadequate daycare. I lost sleep over schooling decisions.

She was mine for a year and a half of school. It was hard. I didn't always show her how loved she was.

I might of failed her. I might have saved her. I don't know.

How many scars are there because of me?

She is beautiful, she is special, and she is darn smart. She is loved, she is judged, she is hurt. She is happy.

I took trips to see her- I would have turned my family upside down for her.

We made a poster together. She took it to the fair that I can't be at.

She was awarded a Grand Champion ribbon at the fair I can't be at.

And today I'm a little mad that she thrives without me. I'm aching to give her a hug. I'm celebrating for her. I'm letting go just a little more. I'm wondering how God will fill this void.

But He will.

Second Corinthians 1:20 tells us that "no matter how many promises God has made, they are 'yes' in Christ." Christ gave His life so God could say yes to the fulfillment of His promises in the lives of believing mortals. Therefore, I am utterly convinced that any 'no' an earnestly seeking child of God receives from the Throne is for the sake of a greater 'yes', whether realized on earth or in heaven. -Beth Moore, Believing God

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