Friday, March 11, 2011


One week of misfortune and extreme fatigue...

Two weeks depression...

One week of influenza....

I think the clouds are parting. As the tulips push their way up through the ground and the buds form on the trees, life is changing in this house. The bad times don't last, thank God.

This last week we have watched our share of movies in an attempt to distract us from our misery. Care Bears and Lucky Charms take me back to when I was young and I'd wake up early to watch my favorite cartoons on Saturday morning.

We have also watched some of the classics, like "A Little Princess", "The Velveteen Rabbit", and "The Secret Garden".

Piled tight together on our love seat, one of my children made the comment, "That Grandmother was mean, but she isn't anymore." I replied, "Her Grandson made her happy. Children are magical."

Aren't they? They make you believe. They make you love. My children have taught me as much, if not more, than I have taught them. How to laugh more. How to dream more. How to imagine and see things from a more innocent perspective. And where my priorities are. What sacrifice really is.

Being sick has given me precious time with each of my children. This time was spent simply to be together- no other agenda. I sat and watched Brookie excitingly introduce me to one of her favorite computer games. She was so vivid and dramatic with her excitement. I squeezed her head against my shoulder and kissed her.

"I love it when you kiss me like that", she said. She compliments me often. Just today she said, "Mama, you are so fat and strong."

OK, that probably wasn't a compliment. My sloppy sick attire wasn't flattering.

I have easily gotten swept up in the moment with these young people ballet dancing, prancing, imagining, giggling, and innocently loving.

And YES, sometimes they bring out the worst in me.

But for this Mama, an imagination can bring me out of what seems to be reality and into something more tolerable. But I'm just wondering....maybe the intolerable is the imaginary and the joyful is reality.

When something goes really wrong and I start to panic- I could dwell in my fears or remember what God says. When I remember what God says, it's like waking up from a nightmare and greeting a fairy tale.

Now, I'm not saying Christianity is a fairy tale, but so many of the characteristics of fairy tales are examples of life in Christ. They all have to deal with evil, and we all know the good guys win in the end. AND love is most often the most powerful force that claims the victory. Don't we all want to loved like that? And aren't we in Christ?

I am not swayed by illusionment that everything is dreamy and certainly am not ready to break out in song at any given moment. Bad things happen. Riots, earthquakes, tsunami, hate, abandoned children, to name of few. These are very real. I believe, however, that many of these things are real because of failure to recognize all truth, that is, what perfect love is.

I thank God that the experience of having children has shown me a glimpse of what His love is truly like.

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