Then, a few days ago, it came up in discussion with my husband, who is well aware of this thing, and he says, "well, you should know that...." and shares with me a bit of information that changed what I thought was justified anger to "oops." aka egg on face.
You see, this thing has caused frustration, hurt, and has had an influence on some very defining decisions for our family. It has also hindered showing love toward certain people. And it was unnecessary.
My initial reaction was to my husband that this information would have been really, really nice to know AS SOON AS YOU KNEW! (six years ago)
But in reality, it was still my fault. I chose to get so angry about it. I chose to let it bother me. With or without my new knowledge, I still should have chosen love. (that is what I tell my children....) I wonder how that might have changed things.
And I wonder how often arguments start simply out of an assumption or a case on being on guard so someone won't be hurt. I'm thinking that more people are hurt when we don't let ourselves be vulnerable and don't assume the best in people.
Or even when a person or group of people make a mistake...even a really bad mistake...we are too quick to be the judge and the jury and assume A) everything you hear that is bad about them is true, and B) that one bad mistake determines his or her definite character.
For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even this: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' But if you bite and devour one another, beware lest you be consumed by one another! -Galatians 5:14-15
Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek it's own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails....For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known. And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love. -1 Corinthians 13:4-8a,12-13