Individuality

I've written a lot about individuality and how I believe finding and being comfortable with it is a big key to success and happiness. This morning my Brookie (4, youngest of the girls) came and sat on my lap and started to sing and asked me to sing along. This was new, but not surprising. I have found her sitting in her room listening to music quite a lot lately.

Let me backtrack a little.

My two older girls have played well together and stuck together, leaving Brookie out. They've told me many times they don't like her because she is hard to talk to (especially when she was younger) or doesn't play like they like it. She is offended and gets mean right back at them and ....sigh.....nobody is happy.

To make matters worse, she is just different than them. She does not learn as easily just because she'd rather be laughing, drawing, or singing. I think that's good! I LOVE that she is in my house because she makes me laugh every day- especially on the days that I need to laugh! She knows that I love her but she is insecure in the fact that she does not fit in. How could anyone so fun and beautiful (Mom talking) be insecure?

But lately something changed. She is sharing, using kind words, obeying (a little better). I could be maturity or something she learned in church??? Or maybe she's just happier because she has started singing more??

By now (4 years old) Savannah was starting to read, counting to 100 and counting by 10's.... I could go on and on. First child, you know. Brookie doesn't do that yet and does not care. And I don't care! I want Brooke to be Brooke and love being Brookie!

I have studied my kids and written my findings in a journal. They are all so different in many ways. I love each of them the most.

They each painted a rainbow (Ellie included). I love
how different they are!

A Birthday Present

Ok, so maybe most kids would hate being my kid because the gifts I give on birthdays are not so exciting. I gave Savannah an early gift- Mad Libs.

She loved them.

Oh yeah, and she learned what nouns, verbs, adjectives, exclamations, past tense and plural meant all in one afternoon AND she has a few hundred more pages to practice on. But the point really is that she loved them.

Some Physical Laws All Should Know. Mad Lib Style.

1. If you apply heat to milk, it will dance.

2. Water always seeks its own mall.

3. In a right triangle, the square of the Power Play is equal to the sum of the squares of the other two cats.

4. Sound travels through air at the rate of 700 girls per second.

5. Weight: 16 ounces equals one bonga.

6. If an object is floating in juice, it displaces its own boy.

7. Everything that goes east must come west.

Tons of laughs for my Savannah. Birthdays are fun because you get to celebrate the person and their individual uniqueness.

Weeds

My optimism is a defense mechanism because hopelessness is so depressing and depression is debilitating and I've just got to get things done.

I have heard Christians say that they wish Eve wouldn't have sinned so we wouldn't have weeds. (um, I think weeds are annoying, but sin has produced way worse!)

But hey, God can make bad things work for good. So weeds can be a good thing.

• Pulling weeds is stress reliving. Good thing I have so many weeds to relieve all of my stress! (I wish folding laundry had the same affect)
• Hard work really makes things more beautiful. Even though a visitor may not think much of my flower bed, It is gorgeous to me!
• You get to discover a whole new tiny world down there. You may even start talking to them depending on how stressed you are. (I was apologizing to a worm today.)
• Since I usually won't just sit outside when there is stuff to do inside, this gives me a reason to sit and do little while accomplishing much. Fresh air does a body good.

So there you have it. Weeds can work for the good.

Keeping It Real

I'm a little selfish. If someone is my friend it's because I have something to gain. If someone is my friend, there is something about them that I have great respect for and I hope a little rubs off on me! (Oh, and I'd also like to be a friend to them.) I don't always tell them what it is because compliments make me uncomfortable and I assume (some of them) are the same way.

So this is something I learned from watching one of my friends: Don't dumb things down. Use real words and talk in real sentences. Refer to yourself as "I" or your stuff as "my" when talking to children as young as possible. Use words like "congruent" (I just re-learned what that was today!)


Summer said, "Mama, this puzzles me." I couldn't help it. I clapped my hands and said, "Summer, I LOVE your vocabulary! So she's used the word "puzzles" more often now.


Think of all the vocabulary you don't have to "teach"- and they don't have to memorize definitions for! Thanks to my friend for being an example to me! (:

Foundations

I was reminded again recently about how important the foundations for life are that parents create for their children.

Max was playing with a toy- the kind you put rings around a small pole and the lights blink when it slip on correctly. He was too uncoordinated to conquer it. As I watched him try, I was frustrated for him. He kept trying, however, and continued to fail.

Common sense, isn't it? You probably would start by using two hands to level the ring and gently push both sides down so it slips nicely over the little button that signals the lights to blink. But then I thought, I bet I learned this trick too at some point before my recollection. So is it really common sense or was it that I had the opportunity to play and explore and figure out how the world works? Maybe a little of both?

Experience is a key to confidence and competence. Knowledge is only a small part of the equation. The more experiences we have, the more well rounded we become. Parents can create these experiences. Sometimes this takes money, but I think mostly it takes time and attention. Plant a seed, throw a ball, make oatmeal, kick 'em outside and let them play together to for a few hours.

They might not remember the actual experience, but what they did learn sticks with them, they will build on it, learn more and more. One day they will have a valuable skill that they have no idea how they know what they know, but they know it.

Purpose

These beliefs are what keep me going.

1.God made us with a purpose in mind, and made us to fit that purpose. The things that excite us, the things that keep us going do this for a reason - because we were made to do things, and to like the things we do.

That's why some people major in chemistry. Why would anyone do that to themselves???? If I did that, it would be very wrong for me, the thought itself is torment. But, according to one friend that did major in chemistry, it was a challenge and he actually liked it.....so is he weird for following what made him excited? Maybe, but if that is the case, normal is very boring. I'd rather talk to a chemist that loves his job than a movie star that hated his.

2.Things come into our lives at the right times to give opportunity and encouragement to do what we should do in order to fulfill the purpose that leads to a greater enjoyment of life.

Every job or opportunity that was a blessing to me has not been forced. It was the result of taking what was there to take. Not that I think being aggressive and proactive in life is a bad thing. Just knowing when to act is the key.

I school my kids at home because the thought of it thrills me, and I know that makes me weird to some people. I know this is what I am to do, for now.

Blessing upon blessing has occurred in just one year. When I need materials for a subject, the right tools, etc. I get them without much effort.

I am from the country. That is where my parents still live and I am welcome to stay almost anytime. We have the benefits of living in an urban area and visiting the country when need be!

So we've been talking about frogs and so what better way then to catch some tadpoles! Perfect timing--and not because I'm so organized. (get my drift?)

This sort of thing gets me so excited I can hardly stand it!!

3. If you are given a vision, dream, get excited about weird things, etc. you are just plain foolish to let opportunity slip through your fingers.


I have little sympathy for complainers. We all can have the same amount of help if we are willing to take it.


Oh, and by the way, this thought has recently been spoken to me in different ways, from different people that I have great respect for. Here is one....coincidence? I think not.

So, I have another dream going through my head that seems to be coming together. I'm not ready to publicly say what it is yet......

Failed.

Does anyone remember that I took most of my kids' toys away and stashed them in my closet with the intention to keep them there until they learn to clean up?


Well, they have not learned to clean and I'm tired of them in my closet. Brooke would actually want to put her toys in my closet because then she wouldn't have to pick up.

If anyone happens to be a new parent and reading this, I know it sounds cliche, but TOYS ARE OVERRATED!!!!! Don't buy ANY new toys just because you think they might like it! Somehow they show up anyway- especially if Grandparents are involved.

Somehow, even though a large percentage of the toys were in my closet, they still did not get bored. And we don't have a TV.

So now they are slowly getting their toys back, but the problem is that when I packed them up I just threw them into baskets and millions of bitty pieces  from thousands of different sources are all over MY closet floor because we have to go through these baskets to find all of the pieces that belong to the particular game they want. sigh.

We are back at square one.

We had a battle about cleaning their room today, and I decided that I would just throw away anything of minimal value away since they had shown no intention of picking up. I casually picked up a small stuffed dinosaur that Summer got from the hospital when she got her x-rays and threw it in the trash. Well, she saw me do it and all of a sudden that dinosaur was sooooooo important. I didn't give it back, as hard as it was. Kevin Leman's words were going through my head "pull the rug out from the little buzzards."

Their room is clean now. Long term cleanliness???? I have my doubts. Again, they are learning from a very poor example, unfortunately.

p.s. I'm sure there are misspelled words in here but I still have not figured out where the spell check is. help anyone??